apathetic---interest
Go big or or go home!!! i struggle with putting full effort into things because I have a huge fear of failure. So I used to not give 100% so I always had a cop out if things didn’t workout, and when they did I would brag that I succeeded without giving my all and I would get this ego that I am so superior to others. What the hell was wrong with me, that was such a sick and cowardly way to live. Now I would rather give my all and fail then half ass anything and do ok. I want to find my calling and being decent or sort of into things is not the way of doing that.

Go big or or go home!!! i struggle with putting full effort into things because I have a huge fear of failure. So I used to not give 100% so I always had a cop out if things didn’t workout, and when they did I would brag that I succeeded without giving my all and I would get this ego that I am so superior to others. What the hell was wrong with me, that was such a sick and cowardly way to live. Now I would rather give my all and fail then half ass anything and do ok. I want to find my calling and being decent or sort of into things is not the way of doing that.

apathetic---interest

bombing:

cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call

lol, last time I was in jail it was Memorial Day and I tried to order a bunch of burgers and milkshakes for my 4 person cell. I seriously had the cop thinking about doing it until he got a call and had to leave. Instead of coming back with our burgers he brought us another inmate, which made it 5 of us in a two bed/person cell. Needless to say we were pissed at the new dude for the next two days!!!

Strange sighting

So last night I was walking out onto my deck to have a smoke and I glanced up and saw something. It looked like a shooting star, but it was almost as large as the sun and had a trail of fire!!! It was like nothing I’ve ever seen before, and I star gaze a lot. My ex said it was maybe a UFO!!! I think that it possibly was, but whatever it was, it was breathtakingly beautiful. I hope to see it again soon while I’m on my deck meditating or star gazing so I can figure it out

saucerfulofheroin
Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.

Robin Sharma (via severs)

This hit me like a brick…

(via knitting-books)

Wow….. How easy it is to fall into a rut, while using my life was so fucking boring now looking back with a clear head. Wake up and get high, work so I can buy more, get off and buy dope, go home and get high till I pass out, and repeat!!!! Wtf kind of life is that!!!! I do more in a single day now that I am clean then I used to in a fucking month. Fuck routine like that, I want to live!!!!

Beach BBQ at sunset tonight was a blast!! Good food and good people with an amazing view is never a bad way to spend an evening. At the end I was able to drive some of the more intoxicated people home safely. I am grateful to be given another chance at life and I need to make sure I give back and help others. I know how much I’ve been helped lately and I appreciate everything and everyone in my life today