Somedays are a lot harder then others to stay positive and to not just throw it all away. Today is one of those days, sometimes it seems like no matter what I can’t just snap out of my head and my funk. Everything I do back fires and that hopelessness starts to creep in. Once that starts that little voice in the back of my head starts to whisper and the idea of getting my relief by getting high sounds better and better. It is crazy how fast it happens but it is very scary and very difficult sometimes to fight it off. I am so thankful that I have not used today and won’t before I go to bed because i have a few tools to help. I pray tomorrow is a better day
cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas
me: you said i got one phone call
lol, last time I was in jail it was Memorial Day and I tried to order a bunch of burgers and milkshakes for my 4 person cell. I seriously had the cop thinking about doing it until he got a call and had to leave. Instead of coming back with our burgers he brought us another inmate, which made it 5 of us in a two bed/person cell. Needless to say we were pissed at the new dude for the next two days!!!
So last night I was walking out onto my deck to have a smoke and I glanced up and saw something. It looked like a shooting star, but it was almost as large as the sun and had a trail of fire!!! It was like nothing I’ve ever seen before, and I star gaze a lot. My ex said it was maybe a UFO!!! I think that it possibly was, but whatever it was, it was breathtakingly beautiful. I hope to see it again soon while I’m on my deck meditating or star gazing so I can figure it out
What other people think of me is none of my business, the only thing that matters is how I think about myself
Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.
Robin Sharma (via severs)
This hit me like a brick…
Wow….. How easy it is to fall into a rut, while using my life was so fucking boring now looking back with a clear head. Wake up and get high, work so I can buy more, get off and buy dope, go home and get high till I pass out, and repeat!!!! Wtf kind of life is that!!!! I do more in a single day now that I am clean then I used to in a fucking month. Fuck routine like that, I want to live!!!!
Today was such an amazing day only to come home and hear one of the most painful things I’ve ever been told. When will the hurricane stop! I think that it’s past only to have it come back even more serious and scary then before and I realize that Was only the eye of the storm