Get dirty, live clean!!
Lonely, sad, frustrated, confused, heartbroken, pissed off, scared, wanting to give up, unappreciated, loser, worthless and not good enough, ugly, unloved, and forgotten. Wow these are all the feelings and emotions that I am feeling tonight and it sucks when the one thing that I want most in this world feels like she is miles away. As the tears build and start swelling up in my eyes I reach the point of no return and I begin to cry uncontrollably into a pillow that I grip close to my heart for the comfort it gives me and the memories it brings of the beautiful angel that used to rest her head there every night. Strange thing is, I am grateful for every one of those tears because tonight I was able to feel these emotions even though they are the undesirable ones I used to fear so much. I didn’t have to run from them or store them away with whatever copping agent I deemed worthy and up for the task of complete and total oblivion. Tomorrow I pray that good feelings will be present in my mind and god willing I will be able to feel those too!!!